Sometimes, talking things through can seem the hardest challenge of all. Especially when relationships break down, hurt, bitterness and anger are often the strongest feelings.
But almost always, the very best solutions are those which you work out for yourselves, together - in which everyone involved can share.
At its simplest, that's what collaborative law is all about - reaching solutions together, to ease the pain of relationship breakdown and create the best chance of building a brighter future.
Changing the way people resolve family breakdown.
Traditionally, when couples split, they each take independent advice from a specialist family lawyer. Working through their lawyers, they try to reach agreement on how best to settle their differences.
They work out how to share the assets - and the responsibilities, for the children for example - as they each go their separate ways.
In many cases, with the help of solicitors, couples reach agreement in this way. Where they don't, it is left to the family courts to decide, and that leads to uncertainty, and often more heartache.
So, imagine the alternative. You and your former partner sit down and, with the help of your own solicitors, all together in the same room, you work it out, face-to-face.
Rather than dealing through your solicitors, you work with them, to reach the best solutions for you and your family.
What it needs to make it work
It sounds so straightforward. But to work it needs the right people, with the right frame of mind:
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A genuine desire to make it work.
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A willingness to disclose, fully and honestly, information about all assets.
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Skilled trained solicitors who are practised in this new collaborative way.
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Agreement that you will reach a solution without going to court.
What makes it so successful
You still benefit from having your own independent legal advisor. But you are in control, without the threat of court proceedings hanging over you.
You set the agenda, so you talk about the things that matter most to you and your family.
You set the pace - because you are not governed by court dates and appearances.
You maintain contact with your former partner. That way, you have the best chance of understanding each other, and finding the right solutions.
Remember, if children are involved, you will both remain parents, and it will help your children to cope better with your separation if they see that you are working things out together.
Most importantly, the key decisions you make about your future are yours - they are not made by a stranger in a courtroom.
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Collaborative Family Lawyers: click logos to access websites
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 Paul Kemp trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2004. A matrimonial solicitor since 1977 Resolution Accredited Specialist and a member of the Law Society Family Law Panel, Paul is Principal of The Worcester Family Law Practice. Paul may be contacted on 01905 730903, at 34 Foregate Street Worcester WR1
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 Jayne Joseph is a family law partner at March & Edwards. A Resolution Accredited Specialist and member of the Law Society Family Law Panel, Jayne trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2004. She may be contacted at 8 Sansome Walk, WR1 1LW, on 01905 727800 or by e-mail |
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 Peter Lewis is head of Family Law at Parkinson Wright and trained as a Collaborative Practitioner in 2005. A member of the Law Society Family Law Panel, Peter sits as a Deputy District Judge. You can contact Peter on 01905 726789 at Haswell House, St Nicholas Street, Worcester, WR1 1UN or by e-mail |
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 Amanda Wright is head of family law at Scaiff LLP. She is a trained Collaborative Practitioner and a member of both the Law Society Advanced Family Law and Children Panels. Amanda may be contacted on 01905 27505, at 23 Foregate Street Worcester WR1 1DN or by e-mail |
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 Patricia Beeching has over 25 years' experience as a matrimonial lawyer and qualified as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in March 2005. Pat is head of Family Law for John Stallard and Co and may be contacted at 2 & 3 Pierpoint Street Worcester WR1 1TD, on 01905 613404 or by e-mail
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 Lesley Bartlett is head of Family Law at Hallmarks. A solicitor since 1978, she is a member of the Law Society Family Panel and Resolution trained Collaborative Family Lawyer. Lesley may be contacted at 4 & 5 Sansome Place Worcester WR1 1UQ, 01907 722660 or by e-mail |
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 John Sherahilo, who qualified as a solicitor in 1985 is Head of the Family Team for both the Tewkesbury and Pershore offices of Thomson & Bancks A Resolution accredited family specialist and a trained collaborative lawyer, John may be contacted at 27 Church Street, Tewkesbury, GL20 5RH, on 01684 299633 or by e-mail
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 Susan Lewis is Head of Family Law at Whatley Weston & Fox. A matrimonial solicitor since 1990. A member of the Law Society Family Law Panel,Susan trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2005 and may be contacted at 16 The Tything, Worcester, WR1 1HD (01905 731731) or by e-mail |
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 Gurdip Brring is Head of Family Law at Hulme & Co. She is an advanced member of the Law Society Family Law Panel and a Resoultion trained Collaborative Family Lawyer. You may contact Gurdip at 6/8 Pierpoint Street Worcester WR1 1TE, on 01905 25531 or by e-mail |
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 Robin ap Cynan is a Solicitor and experienced Family Mediator. He trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2003. Robin may be contacted at SALM on 0800 917 9078 or by e-mail |
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 Debbie Fowler is an experienced Divorce Lawyer and Collaborative Family Law Practitioner. She specializes in assisting her clients in achieving a fair settlement in a dignified manner. Debbie is based in Kidderminster and can be contacted upon 01562 66000 at 37 Worcester Street, Kidderminster, DY10 1EW or by e-mail
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 Ian Stirzaker is a family law partner at March & Edwards, an experienced solicitor with Higher Rights of Audience, Ian trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2006. Ian may be contacted at 8 Sansome Walk, WR1 on 01905 723561 or by e-mail |
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 John Barklam is an experienced family law solicitor practising with Saunders Roberts. A member of the Law Society Family Law Panel, John trained as a Collaborative Family Lawyer in 2005. John may be contacted at 1 Crown Court Yard, Bridge Street Evesham WR11 4RY, on 01386 442558 or by e-mail |
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 Peter Flint is a partner of Lanyon Bowdler solicitors. He specialises in high value financial claims arising of of divorce proceedings and disputes regarding between parents concerning children. Peter is both a mediator and a Resolution trained collaborative family lawyer. He may be contacted at 7 Mill Street, Ludlow SY8 1BA, on 01584 872333 or by e-mail |
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Other Collaborative Family Lawyers may be found through the Resolution website |
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